The importance of culture for your teenager

By ReachOut Content Team
Published 24 November 2023

Every parent wants their teen to feel confident, grounded and proud of who they are. But as teens figure out where they fit in the world and who they want to be, they naturally look for a sense of belonging with friends and peers. 

If your family is racially, culturally or linguistically diverse, you might notice your teen leaning into the mainstream culture at school – or pushing away from yours. While this can feel upsetting for you, it’s understandable that your teen might do this, especially if they’ve experienced racism or pressure to ‘fit in’.

The truth is, your teen doesn’t have to choose. In fact, embracing their heritage builds teens’ resilience – and you can play a powerful role in helping them to see their culture as a source of strength, connection and pride. 

How culture impacts mental wellbeing

Research shows that having pride in their background can boost a teen’s confidence and self-esteem – helping them socially, emotionally and academically. Knowing who they are and where they come from gives them a feeling of purpose and connection they can draw strength from in tough times.

Each culture has different ways to support mental wellbeing, from dance and spiritual worship to storytelling and ceremony. Sharing your cultural practices with your teen is an enjoyable way to build their resilience while highlighting the positive aspects of their heritage. 

Different cultures also have varying attitudes towards mental health and wellbeing. Whatever your cultural background, it’s important for your teen’s wellbeing today to reach out for help for them, or for yourself, when it’s needed – even if you’ve had bad experiences of mental health services here or in your home country.

Watch this video of young migrants and refugees talking about how race and culture impacted their mental health challenges.

Talk to your teen about race and culture

It’s never too late to connect your teen to their cultural heritage or to explore your family’s roots for the first time together. What matters most is creating a safe space that allows for curiosity, so your teen knows their experiences, questions and feelings are valid. Here are some tips.

  • Keep an open mind. Your teen’s take on their heritage and their experiences of exclusion will be different from yours, but they are just as valid. 

  • Ask open-ended questions. Aim for more than ‘yes’/‘no’ answers to help you understand your teen’s feelings. Also avoid questions beginning with ‘why’, which can put them on the defensive.

  • Listen and empathise. This doesn’t mean you agree 100 per cent with your teen, but it shows you’re willing to see their side. 

  • Enter their headspace. Understand that every teenager wants to fit in, feel accepted and avoid being bullied. If it seems like they’re denying their heritage, it could be more about belonging to their peer group than about rejecting family and tradition. 

  • Be honest. If there are challenging parts of expressing their culture, talk them through with your teen. If you’ve experienced racism or discrimination, share how you handled it.

Build your teen’s cultural pride

Nurturing your teen’s pride in their roots can answer questions they have about themselves and broaden their horizons. Being multilingual, being part of a strong community outside of school, having family in other parts of the world or feeling deep connection to Country are all assets for life. 

It doesn’t matter how distant your teen’s cultural link – if it’s meaningful to you or your partner, it’s valuable. Here are some ways to pass your culture on to your children.

  • Speak your first language at home sometimes.

  • Serve traditional foods. 

  • Wear traditional items of clothing.

  • Celebrate special holidays.

  • Observe religious and traditional customs.

  • Play and listen to traditional music.

  • Tell stories and share memories.

Some teenagers will ‘get it’, while others might feel your home country’s culture is irrelevant to their lives. Here are some practical ways you can strengthen your teen’s cultural connection.

  • Start small. Model low-key cultural activities your teen can work into their routines, like preparing traditional foods or watching a movie in your first language.

  • Focus on fun. Bond with your teen at cultural events and share diverse media like IndigenousX (new Indigenous writing), SBS’s hub for Arab Australian stories and Flight 1067, a radio show celebrating African music. Find diverse YA fiction with the hashtag #weneeddiversebooks.

  • Connect to community. Help your teen to spend time with extended family, ‘aunties’ and ‘uncles’, or community leaders who can give advice and teach them cultural traditions. Support your teen’s new friendships.

  • Keep up the language. If your family speaks a second language at home, include your teen. If not, watch shows with subtitles, use language apps (like Gurray, which creates text in Indigenous languages) or read comic books in your mother tongue.

  • Aim for influence. Forcing your teen to do something can make them resentful. Instead, let them pick the parts of the culture that make sense to them so they can express their identity on their terms.

  • Be a good ally. Learn about other cultures to give your teen a new perspective on theirs. Check out festivals like Diwali or Lunar New Year, learn about the Traditional Owners of the place you live, and try different cuisines. Share online content like @kozziecom on Instagram, where Korean Australians share their stories, and SBS’s Cultural Atlas. Chat about stereotypes and challenge misconceptions.

Watch the video below for clinical psychologist Dr Shilpa Madiwale’s tips for helping your teen to build cultural pride.

Video transcript.

Help your teen to cope with racism and discrimination 

Australia is a vibrant mix of races, languages and religions, and is home to the oldest living cultures on the planet. Sadly, this doesn’t stop some people from discriminating against others who look different or have unfamiliar lifestyles. 

Racism and prejudice can make your teen feel unsafe and excluded, and misunderstood or uncomfortable in new social settings. Even friends and teachers can unintentionally make assumptions about them based on ignorance or stereotypes. 

While it’s not your teen’s responsibility to educate prejudiced people, you can help them to recognise and call out racism and discrimination. Sympathise with your teen if they worry that expressing their culture will make them a target for racism or bullying, and reassure them that they’re not alone.

The first step is to start a conversation with your teen. You can come at the topic indirectly by asking what they think about relevant news stories, cultural appropriation or storylines in TV shows with diversity-led themes, like Abbott Elementary or Never Have I Ever.

Here are some tips to help your teen deal with racism. If they’re feeling overwhelmed or threatened, it’s crucial that you find them mental health support as soon as possible. Confidential, culturally informed resources include:

What if your teen pulls away from their culture?

Many teens feel embarrassed by things that mark them out as different and may try to minimise those parts of themselves. These include obvious things like wearing a scarf for religious reasons or something more subtle, like having to bring home-cooked food for lunch at school instead of buying a sandwich from the canteen. 

They might not invite friends home out of fear of being teased over your family’s language or customs, or they may dread meeting new people because they’ll probably mispronounce your teen’s name. Your child might make lifestyle choices you feel are disrespectful to their heritage.

Here are some ideas on how to navigate these emotional responses.

  • Show empathy. You might feel upset, and for good reason, but try to remember that your teen will naturally question the values and beliefs they were raised with. It doesn’t mean they don’t want your love or wisdom. 

  • Be patient. Give your teen time to reach their own conclusions. In time, they might embrace their heritage more strongly than ever.

  • Share your perspective. Talk about times you’ve questioned aspects of your culture and the pluses and minuses of that. Showing your teen you’ve been there puts you and them on an even footing and opens space for them to share with you.

  • Emphasise the positive. Show your teen how their cultural background is an asset that makes their identity richer and their life fuller.

Stay strong in yourself

As with your teen, it’s hard for parents or carers to keep up cultural pride when confronted by ignorance, discrimination or racial abuse. It’s okay to feel a bit defeated at times, so take time to care for yourself. 

  • Keep up healthy habits. Spend time meditating, swimming, drumming, walking on Country – whatever recharges your emotional batteries.

  • Stay social. Maintain your networks, whether it’s a church, choir, sports team, cultural group or extended family.

  • Find support. There’s no shame in needing extra help, but if you’re not ready to speak to a GP straight away, Medicare has an anonymous online quiz that gives you a clearer picture on your mental wellbeing, suggests resources and connects you with expert help. 

Did you find what you needed?